Last Blog for English 101

Writing a blog every week was not easy. Sometimes I wrote it late, a few times I had nothing to write about, often though, it helped me understand how I was growing and changing during the first semester.

I can't say I enjoyed writing the blog. Many Sunday's, on my way back to MC, I would shout, "I forgot to write my blog!," then have to run to my dorm room and reflect on a week in which I could find nothing worthwhile to write about. It is difficult to reflect and write about someone who is constantly changing and evolving. I look back on my first few blogs and remember what I was going through. I think the blog assignment helped me get through a difficult time. I had chosen a college I was not sure about, came to school without friends, and began to try to sort out what I was to gain from Mississippi College. The blog helped me work through my thoughts. Even if I didn't write as personally as to let the reader know exactly what I was going through, just sitting down to write and having to reflect and think was almost a therapeutic act.

I had a lot of interesting times this fall, the presidential debate, visiting all of my friend's colleges, going home to a house that isn't really mine anymore, we even had fun in our blog with mine and Jared's pretend breakup.

I know when I am no longer at MC or even in college for that matter, I can read my blog and it will take my back to what I was feeling at that moment. These blogs will always be a look into my life during my freshman year of college, and I hope to enjoy reading them a few years from now. I am sure that on occasion I will have a memory lapse on a Sunday afternoon and yell, " Oh no, I forgot to write my blog!"

13. Can't focus.

So I can count on three different occasions today where I have sat down to study for finals, and end up not studying. I have to learn to focus or this week will end bad. I have test in all of my classes unlike those lucky people whose teachers canceled their test. I know that after I put the work into this week I will be able to enjoy my break more. I cannot wait for Christmas holiday! My mother, two of my friends from college and my little sister are going to New York right after finals! Oh, and my ex's aunt and little sister, which I am hoping isn't awkward. But, I love New York during the winter! Broadway shows, ice skating, snow in Central Park, it really is the best time of the year there! My mother is a complete Chinatown fanatic! My dad refuses to go with us this year, because of the previous trips when we drag him to Soho and Chinatown for hours on end. This year we are seeing Wicked! I cannot wait. We haven't been able to see it yet, and I hear its amazing. Well I just needed to get all of my excitement out, so maybe I can focus on studying now.. ha ha probably not.

12. Home Sweet Home

I had an amazing Thanksgiving break! After eating too much, not resting enough, and seeing all of my friends; I am back at MC for the last of my first sesmester of college. I have to finish this sesmester off well. So that when I transfer my grades are better. I have learned alot these past few months. I can't honestly say I have used this knowledge to my advantage, but I have realized a few things. For example, start to work on assignments so that the night before the due date you don't have to pull an all nighter. I also learned that I have to find a nice balance on friend time and family time, when I go home for these short weekends, I am still working on this.
Although I am leaving MC after the spring semester I don't feel like my time here was wasted. I learned alot about myself here. I know that I can make friends and live somewhat independently. Also, I can now drive all by myself on the interstate! These are just a few things I have been realized during my short time here.

11. My family

In life, I believe we are led to people. They may not be the people we want to be with. But they are who we need. I am lucky. Not only do I want to be around you, I need to be.
When I try to remember how we got here, I can't. All I have are sweet memories. I couldn't have imagined this. Our love is better than my wildest expectations. A group of people, as different as can be, but accepting, forgiving, and better than that loving.
It is true. We should probably all hate each other. Our past contains lies, deception, heart break, we have all at one point in time thrown our hands in the air. But to not only be able to look past this, but to accept and forgive, this is what makes this relationship one for the books.
I have never before felt so protected, loved, picked on, pushed, and mentally stimulated, the way I feel when these people are near. We laugh. We fight. We cry. We live. All of this done passionately and without regret.
I know whatever path I go down in life, I have fans to support me. I know whatever fight is in front of me, I have an army behind me. I have a family. A family I chose. And whatever way my story ends, I know they have rewritten mine by being my friend.

10. Dr. Miller, please enjoy.

*Before you read this, please go read Jared Willis' blog first.

Last night at the KT/ Shawreth Swap, I was skating around the rink, when all of the sudden my (then) boyfriend Jared Willis appears. He thought I was having a hard time so he helped me. We were skating around, dancing and laughing when all of the sudden Jared drops my hand and I fall. I am not happy about this. He starts talking to another KT active and goes to skate with her! Um, excuse me? He is my territory. I am very upset and I go outside to get some air.. Well Jared follows me outside. A very nasty fight ensues, I guess everyone inside heard our screaming, and the KT and Shawreth actives all come outside. Including the little home wrecker! I decided I’d had enough. I pulled her hair, and bit her. The whole tribe got into a huge fight. Jared and I are done. I can not believe I wasted two months on him. I hope him and that little upstart are happy. I would like to tell our entire English class, that you need to choose a side. I will no longer be attending class when Jared is in the room. He will go on Tuesday’s and I will attend on Thursdays. I hope this doesn’t cause anyone in our class distress. Thank you for your time. Team Julia will be meeting tomorrow, to plot ways to ruin Jared’s life.


JUST KIDDING!

Disclaimer: Jared and Julia do not date, have never dated, they only wanted to have fun with Dr. Miller's comments during class.

9. Change

This week was big for America history, our first African American President! I am so excited that one day, I can tell my children I lived through that. What aggravates me is that I will also have to explain to them how some people reacted. I didn't even get on facebook and myspace Tuesday night, because of all the ridiculous status.
If there is one message I would tell everyone its that we are Democrats and Republicans second, first we are Americans. Obama is our president now and we should honor that, no matter who we voted for. In the Bible, King Saul tried to have David killed. David still honored him. If you have not watched McCain's concession speech, I highly suggest you do. He is very classy and the speech is beautiful. If we all listen to his words the transition will go a bit easier.
I guess by this blog, I am saying, please stop hating and saying you are moving away from America. The truth is, America is our home and we should be proud of it. The new President Obama deserves the chance to show us his new policy.

8. Family Vacation

On Monday I remember saying, "I hope this week goes by fast." Well wisher got her wish. It was a blur. I am now a KT active! I got some class work done and I had a fun week too!
On Monday night, one of my best friends that goes to Ole Miss called me and said I wasn't allowed to go to sleep tonight. I had no idea what she meant, I went about doing everything I needed to do, and at about midnight I called her and told her I thought this was ridiculous. I was tired and I didn't want to play her games. She begged me to wait a few minutes longer. So I walked outside, like she asked in the freezing cold. All of the sudden I see her car coming into the dorm parking lot. She had drove all the way from Oxford to see me! She said she knew this week was going to be hard on me and wanted to show me I was loved. I have never been so happy/surprised in my life.
I have the best friends in the world. When people ask me what I dislike most, my new answer is distance. I hate that we are all so separated. In school, my group of friends referred to each other as the "family." There is about ten of us, we have been through thick and thin together. Its hard to be so spread out, we stretch out over three states now. I get to see at least one member of our family every weekend. And this weekend we are all meeting up at Ole Miss! I am so excited to see them.
I guess by this blog, I want to encourage you to find your friends. Find the people that love you for you. That treat you like family, they may not always say what you want to hear, but at the end of the day, your relationships are all you have. I am the luckiest girl in the world. In a few hours they will be here to pick me up, and even though I can't be with them daily; I feel their love every day.

8. Roommate Rules.

Growing up not only did I have my own bed and bathroom, the upstairs of my house had a small den and office. I had more than enough room to roam, I like being loud and sleeping with all of the lights off. Noise doesn't matter to me, I often fall asleep with music or the tv on.
After I chose MC, I had a friend from a different highschool in our town and we decided to room together. We are very different in some ways and alot alike in others. We haven't had any problems, I've adjusted to sleeping with the lamp on because my roommate is a night owl and being very quite in the morning because I am an early bird. We know so much about each other and we have only been living together since August. She is crazy and out there and marches to the beat of her very own drum. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Tonight we had a big misunderstanding, both of us had been bottling up alot of feelings. But after calming down and talking it through, we realized that we both have things we need to work on. I am going to stop eating dry cereal in the bed. She is going hang up her clothes. And just like that we avoided our first fight and reached a compromise.

7. Who would have thought.

I have been a few weeks late on my blog, with follies practice all night and school, it completely slipped my mind. But, after all of those practices I couldn't even participate in Follies. A family friend's wedding conflicted with Homecoming this weekend so I didn't get to partcipate, which is sad, but the wedding was beautiful and I am so happy I got to be there.
My tribe was so understanding about this weekend. I did not pref the tribe that I am in. On squeal night I was so miserable! But, after I called my mom and listened to her advice I decided to stick it out. The first few weeks in the tribe I was very indescive, I wanted to be in the tribe with my friends. I hated wearing a wooden animal around my neck. But, after spending more time with my new sisters I started to accept this tribe. I realized that there was more love between this diverse group of girls, than I ever imagined. They open their arms and accepted the pledges without judgement or prejudice. Even though it wasn't my first choice I would choose no other tribe now. I love my new sisters and I am so proud of how well they did this weekend.

6. Fall is here!

My favorite season of the whole year is fall. I love the weather, the colors, football season, and hunting. I hadn't really noticed the appearance of the season until I came home this weeekend. I guess I had been to busy adjusting to my new college life, to feel the chill in the air, and see the leaves changing colors. But, when I returned home for fall break, I took a look around and realized I was missing my favorite of nature's transformations.
I have been so busy with school, new friends, keeping up with old friends and all , to stop and realize that this is my life now, and there is no reason to be in such a hurry.The other day I thought about how last fall, when I was a senior, how different my life was then. I was in a relationship, carefree about grades, and going to Ole Miss the following year. A year can change alot! My senior year flew by, packed full of memories and decisions, even a good heartbreak. But, here I am, a new season, just like the leaves change colors and prepare for winter; so do we, last year was preparation for what I would face this year. I went through a bitter breakup, so that I could have a full college experience. I made a bizarre college decision, so I would have the chance to go down my own path, and not follow my friends. I made alot of great memories as well, so when I look back at my highschool years a good feeling comes to mind.
I hope to see many more fall seasons. And, each time I do, to stop and reflect, and think about how I got where I am and what prepared me for it. I hope to slow down at MC, and feel more at home there in the coming weeks. This fall I am going to enjoy my SEC football, and while I am home at least, play in the woods with my family. Until then I can't wait to see where next fall finds me.

5. My busy busy week.

This week has been crazy, and flown by! It has been very eventful though, rush, classes, a quick trip home, and family weekend; I am in much need of rest. I made a quick trip home Tuesday, my friend from highschool had a sweet baby girl! After I returned on Wednesday I realized I had left a mountain worth of things to do!
I spent most of the day doing homework, the Pref Day came! Although I did not get in to the tribe I wanted, Squeal Night was still fun, and I will try to make the best of the whole tribe situation.
I was so happy for my mom to come see me on Saturday! We are very close, and I loved introducing her to my new friends.
Until fall break can deliver some much needed time off, it will only get more intense with Follies practice, and classes this week. But I am excited and every day brings a new adventure!

4. Many Different Types of People, One Main Goal.

I am very interested in politics, especially this year's historic election. Never before has there been an election like this, and I consider myself lucky to be able to vote for the first time during this particular election. So when I heard that the first debate would be taking place at Ole Miss, where all of my friends attend college, I just had to go check it out!
After our little scare that John McCain would back out, the debate went off without a hitch. It was so nice to visit the Grove before the debate and see every national news company you can think of, in Mississippi! We also listened to bands and senators up for re-election during the afternoon.
When the debate started everyone settled down, and for the most part put our political differences to the side, and listened to the two men, one of which will lead our country very soon. I was amazed how many different types of people were there. And that while the Senators were stating how differently they feel about the world's issues, we could sit and listen as a a group of people who all want the same thing: to better America, no matter how differently we feel about arriving there.
This experience reminded me of what Dr. Miller talks about in class, not only should we listen and respect others' opinions. But, we should also be able challenge each other mentally without prejudice or ignorance. I think this weekend helped grow in many different ways I, not only do I feel more responsible to my country, but also to myself, to understand the world and people around me.

4. Not enough hours in the day!

I thought, up until this week, that I had this whole college thing down. But then, teachers decided it was time to start assigning work, and now I am stressed to the max. In highschool, I found it easy to juggle my, oh so important, social life with my work load. I have realized that not only do I have more work in college, but more social freedom. Which makes this whole juggling my life thing alot harder.
I haven't slept in almost two weeks, and I try not to fall asleep in almost every class. This is probably because I feel like I am living in a constant slumber party, and Grey's Anatomy, my addiction is about to start a new season. Physically, I am drained, and I have only been at college for three weeks.
I have began to make friends and go out, but I also need to start prioritzing. I need to start making sure I get what needs to be done, out of the way before I go socialize. This needs to happen especially because rush has begun! I am very excited about this, but it will make my schedule alot harder.
So from now on, I am going to prioritize and sleep! I am going to focus on my work. Once I get my schedule flowing and understand my new enviroment, I can be more efficient everyday.

2. Waiting on the Difference

I went back to my hometown this weekend. After returning to my cozy 11x13 new home, I realized that over the past few weeks, I have changed. I could not wait to claim my independence last month, I was so excited about no curfews, and being on my own. This past Friday night I went to the high school football game, where my brother plays quarterback and my dad is a coach. The game was bittersweet, I didn't belong there anymore, but it was a nice visit. Saturday, I hung out with my family, and then went to my friend's cabin. But along with the visit came my annoying curfew. I was also under the watchful eye of my townsfolk once again.
In the mission statement MC talks about encouraging the students to grow emotionally, here I have independence and responsibilities that I do not have at home. I can't say that I emotionally feel different this quickly, but I see how after four years a person can't help but be different. I have always been very close to my mom. When I am away I have to fend for myself much more than at home, and this will help me grow. My mother has two favorite, in my opinion, overused sayings.
"Your allowed to be picky," I have to decide now who I surround myself with in this new setting. I believe friends can have a major influence on life. I want to make friends that help me grow, and make these next four years memorable.
"To whom much is given, much is expected." I have the best parents. They have given me so much in life, and now that I am away from them I have to remember that everything I do is a reflection on them. I take this responsibility seriously, and hope to make them proud.
These are just a few ways I think MC will help me grow emotionally over the next four years. I want to become someone my parents will be proud of, and surround myself with loving, good friends while I receive my education.

1. Where I Need to Be.

If I had a dime for every time a upper class man or teacher asked me "Why did you choose MC?," I don't think I would have to worry about gas prices for a month, and that's saying alot.
The question would not bother me so much if I had an answer, but I don't, so that particular question bugs me.
My parents are both graduates of Ole Miss, as well as most of my aunts and uncles, and nearly all of my cousins. Everyone in my small home town just assumed that this fall, I would head to Oxford. Well I am a person that likes the shock value; so I chose MC.
I have never understood the people that say they hated high school, I LOVED high school, I made my best friends there, friends I hope to keep for the rest of my life. Those friends all went to college together, ironically to Ole Miss. So you can imagine my jealousy, when I call one of them and they are all experiencing something new, together. It doesn't help that their idea of a joke is to send me transfer papers, or that when I visited last weekend, they had arranged a campus tour for me. I know I should feel loved, but I also feel pressured.
The saying, "things are what you make them," defined my first week at MC-miserable. I wanted to be with my friends. I didn't see the need to make new ones, and those transfer papers were looking mighty tempting. So I spent most of what the welcome week leaders termed "our best week ever" in my dorm room, wondering what momentary lapse of judgement brought me here. Then the weekend came, and I went to Oxford to see my friends. After that mini vacation I remembered why I chose MC; of all the campuses I ever toured, this one felt like home.
No matter how flashy Ole Miss was, or convenient Southern Miss could have been, Mississippi College just felt right.
So, maybe a few months from now, I will have this amazing answer to that frequently asked question. Until then, all I can say is this is right where I need to be right now, and for me, that's enough.